I’m here sitting on a chair listening to nothing, absolutely nothing. Today I was babysitting and the children just slept. Normally I switch on the T.V to watch Scrubs or Grey’s Anatomy. Today I decided to stay in perfect silence just to recall what it feels like to listen to nothing. When I was doing my O levels my mum was quite worried that I listened to music while studying. A teacher had explained that some students require music to do so. Anyways, I can’t stand silence. Even now my hand is itching to grab the remote control to switch on the T.V. Why do I need sound? I just don’t know. Maybe I’m used to all the sound around me. At school it’s the children, teachers ranting about everything and cars passing by my class. In the street it’s the honking which I immidiately switch off by switching on my mp3 player (ironic isn’t it?). At home I listen to some more music, maybe just to clear off my thoughts of the day. That’s it! I need sound to drown my thoughts. The only moment where I really think is when I go in bed and start dozing off. Some weird (but good) ideas start coming up at that precise moment.
What goes in my head when I’m thinking? I don’t know, maybe I plan for the future, think of how I’m going to plan the day or evaluate my day. Sometimes I think about what I should have said or done better during the day. I also evaluate my teaching and research on new ideas for the classroom. Although I love planning (a meal or a trip), I hate it just as much. It’s isn’t a nice feeling when you plan something and it doesn’t realize itself. So when I plan, I try and ‘cushion’ myself if the plan doesn’t succeed to avoid tantrums and crying (by myself of course). The song I’m putting here is all about this. I’m posting it with lyrics since the lyrics have a strong meaning. Enjoy 🙂 .
The moral of the story: just live the present. Plan, but don’t take it too seriously. Enjoy life!
I’m off to watch some T.V. now. Yes, my fingers itched so much I had to switch it on. 🙂